Until The Day I Die, My Brother
by AlwaysRain
Summary: The literary version of VandettA Cosplay's 'Until The Day I Die'. Either read or watch the video. Either way, you'll bawl your eyes out. I gave this a tentative 'T', just because I don't know if I can put it lower than that with my own morals. Anyway, enjoy your tears. I certainly did enjoy mine. After a long time.


I can't find him. My precious little Brother, whom I love with all my heart. I can't find him.

"Severin! Ludwig Severin! Where are you?"

My voice cuts through the thick afternoon air, heated by the sun above. The grass sparkles so nicely, somehow still covered in the morning's dew, though it has been so long since it fell. It's hot, nearly unbearably so. I don't understand how my young Brother manages to wear black on a day like this.

My problem, however, is where he's gotten to. I haven't seen him since this morning, and I'm starting to panic. He'd had an argument with Austria, and my colleague shut him outside. The sun is shining, the sky is blue and cloudless, but I can't shake this feeling that he's hurt.

Away to my left, the breeze shifts the branches of a tree ever so slightly, and I catch sight of him. At least, I think it's him. I run over, ducking beneath the branches of the tree. Indeed, it's my young Brother- Ludwig Severin Beilschmidt, the Holy Roman Empire. He's rested against the trunk, his knees pulled to his chest, hair in his face slightly as he reads the book that is propped on his legs. A small smile comes over my face, full of relief that he hasn't been hurt.

"Roma? Roma, where have you been?" I mutter, touching his knee to get his attention. He glances up for a moment, then goes back to his book. I touch his leg again, and he pushes my knee with his foot, causing me to fall from my crouched position. "Roma, answer me."

He sighs, closing his book with an annoyed snap. "Why? I'm alright, Gilbert. I just wanted to read."

My reddish eyes search his face for any trace of dishonesty, his eyes for lies. "Are you alright? Really, Ludwig? You've been gone all day. I know Roderich was a bit harsh earlier, but that's no reason to just disappear. I was worried."

He shrugs. "I just wanted to read."

"Well, you can read inside," I say, reaching out a hand to help him up. "I want to know where you are. I was worried," I repeat, hoping he gets the message.

He looks up at me, his blue eyes wide. "I'm sorry, Brother. I didn't mean to frighten you."

I don't reply, but he slips his little hand into my larger one, and we walk towards the house. He isn't very big- only reaches my waist height wise, but he still manages to fill my whole heart.

Halfway home, he stops, tugging on my hand. I pause, turning to look back at him. His face is troubled, and he won't look up at me. "Gilbert? I have a question."

"What is it, Severin?"

"If I ever got hurt, would you come for me?"

I can practically feel the shock flash across my face. "Of course. You're my brother. I'll come, until the day I die." I let myself smile, looking down into his eyes. "Cross my heart."

As I cross my chest with my fingers, as smile once again returns to his face. He stumbles forward, hugging me around the waist. I crouch down, pulling him into my arms. I never want him to leave me. Because we've crossed our hearts.

"Ludwig! I'm home!"

I push open the door to see him sitting on the couch, reading a book. I pause, my eyes going unfocused. Instead of my new younger Brother, Germany, I see my first Brother, Roma.

_"Severin? Ludwig Severin," I call, my hand resting on a skinny tree. He's crouched like he always is when he reads, eyes intently locked on the book. Smiling, I go and wrap my arms around his shoulders in a hug. "I'll protect you to the day I die, Roma. Cross my heart."_

I bite my lip, suddenly back to the present. Ludwig looks up at me, then down at his book, then back up at me. "What?"

I've never told him about his namesake, my precious Ludwig Severin. Now isn't the time. I blink away painful tears, shaking my head. "Nothing. What are you reading?"

His eyes narrow slightly. He's never liked me as much as I'd hope. "Nothing you care about," he mutters, casting me a suspicious look before resuming his reading. I sigh, my eyes downcast as I turn away. I stand up, the arm of the couch creaking slightly as my weight leaves it, and I walk away.

Home only seems cold these days, but I won't leave. I won't ever leave. I crossed my heart.

_The library has always been so peaceful. I love it here. I glance up from my open book as I walk down the aisle way, seeing my younger Brother do the same. A smile instantly crosses my face. As we pass each other, we slap a high five, and continue reading._

I blink, shaking my head to rid myself of the memory as I realize it's just that- a memory. I stare down at my book, the words not making any sense to my pained mind. I look up as I start to walk, seeing Germany walking towards me. I hold up my hand for the familiar high five, starting to say his name.

"Lud-"

The word dies on my lips as he passes me without a word, not offering his hand or a smile, not even glancing up from his book.

_I lower the long chain over his head, the Iron Cross resting gently on his chest. He looks up at me and beams at me, knowing he'll forever be my beloved Brother. I have a matching Cross, and he's finally gotten his wish of having one, so he could be just like me._

_"Forever, Brother? We are forever now, aren't we?"_

_I smile, kneeling down next to him. "Forever, Roma. We are forever. And I'll protect you until the day I die. Cross my heart."_

I lean against the wall, staring at the floor as Ludwig sleeps a few feet away. I'd come in here to talk to him, had mustered up enough courage to tell him that he wasn't my first Brother, but he'd been asleep already.

I can't do it. Especially when he looks so much like _he_ used to, with his hair mussed up from sleep. I can't bring myself to wake him, or even to take back the Iron Cross that he clutches in his hand, the one that he always wears. If only he knew whose precious possession that had been before his. I'll never do anything to hurt him in any way, and I'll protect him. I crossed my heart.

_"No! I don't want to!"_

_"I don't care! I'm not letting you go off to war on your own, Severin! You're coming home whether you like it or not!"_

_"I'm not!" He shouts, his eyes hard and flinty. "I'm never coming home! I hate you! You're so stupid! Why can't I ever go into war on my own? I'm not a child!"_

_My jaw sets at his words, and I know I've lost it. "Fine, then. Don't come home, Roma. Don't ever come home."_

_I turn and stalk off, not seeing as he stretches out a hand for me, instantly regretting what he's said. However, before I've gone too far, I hear him crying. I stop and turn, my own eyes starting to burn as I see him sobbing, his small shoulders shaking._

_I turn around and walk back, kneeling down and taking his shoulders in my hands. "I'm sorry, Brother. I'm so, so sorry. I don't want you to go."_

_His lip wobbles, and he stares at me with wet cheeks. I tap his Iron Cross, then mine, and manage to muster up a small smile. "Wherever you go, I'll protect you to the day I die. Cross my heart."_

_I cross my heart, smiling as I see his tears finally stop._

"Get the hell away from me, Gilbert! I don't need you in my life!"

"I'm your Brother! Just listen!"

"I don't need to, I can handle my own life!"

"No you can't, Roma!"

He pins me up against the brick wall behind me, his hand around my throat. I choke, scrabbling at his hand with mine as I struggle for air. "What the hell did you just call me, freak?"

I cough, trying to breathe still, and I shake my head. I never meant to call him that. Roma isn't here anymore, he isn't my Brother. Germany is.

The tall blonde's eyes narrow, staring pointedly into my panicked red ones. "I hate you," he says, his voice dripping with venom.

I struggle to keep myself from tearing up, struggle to make my panic fade and turn instead to calm. It doesn't work, and my voice is weak and shaky as I manage a few words past my constricted airways. "Remember when we could fix a fight with a hug?"

His eyes widen, and his grip on my throat lessens slightly, just enough for me to breathe easier. After a moment, he lets go. Without a word, he turns and walks away, leaving me at the wall, alone. I swallow the lump in my throat, looking at the ground.

That only confirmed my suspicions. My Brother has always been my Brother, even if he's acting different, even if he doesn't remember anything. And I crossed my heart.

_Holy Rome struggles through the open field, his breath catching in his throat. He falls to his knees, crawls a few feet, then gives up the fight. I'm running through the woods, branches whipping my face and arms, scratches stinging with pain. I can barely see the edge of the field, barely see the small form of my Brother._

_I watch as another form nears him, pulls him upright, muttering something with a loving expression on his face. I catch myself as I slip in the mud, grabbing a small tree to support myself as I try to ease my breathing, watching from afar as the two converse. Watching as a gleaming sword slips between my Brother's ribs._

_"SEVERIN!"_

_I think it's me screaming, but I don't know. All I know is that my beloved Brother has been stabbed, and my feet are too slow as I run towards them. The figure simply smirks and slips away._

_I've finally reached him. I skid through the mud and grass, collapsing on my knees next to him, pulling him into my arms. "No! No, no, no, no, no, no" It's an endless stream of helpless whines, and I can do nothing to stop them as I feel hot tears rushing down my face, watching his blood coat my hands._

_A trickle of crimson runs from the corner of his mouth as his hand presses against the wound, trying to stop the bleeding. His lips work soundlessly, his eyes searching my face. Slowly, the life fades from them, his face becomes pale._

_His hand slips from his chest, bloodied as it lands with a lifeless thump on the ground._

_I lift my face to the skies and let out an agonized scream. It's all I can do, because I crossed my heart._

It hurts being back here, but I shake my head to clear it. "Remember yet?" I ask him, looking over.

His blue eyes scan the field, a confused expression on his face as we walk. "What am I supposed to remember, Prussia?"

I sigh, looking down at the ground. I couldn't bring myself to tell him, but I thought that maybe coming here would help. It seems to be doing nothing, only making me struggle for breath through the pain on my heart. "Just- just keep walking, it'll come to you."

After a few minutes, I slow, feeling that something is wrong. I'm turning in circles, looking everywhere for the source. Germany's gotten ahead of me, quite a bit. A dark movement catches my eye; a sniper is kneeling at the edge of the woods, his gun trained on-

"LUDWIG!"

I propel myself forward, running as fast as I possibly can. I slam my hands against his back, shoving him forward just as a gunshot echoes around us. Something rips into my back, searing me like fire. I let out a yell of pain, crashing to the hard ground.

Ahead of me, I think I see Ludwig pull out a pistol, firing a single shot with sure accuracy that rids the sniper of his life with one try.

I cough on the ground, my eyes fixed on him as my vision blurs. "Until the day I die, I said. I'll spill my heart for you."

He turns, making me wonder if he's heard my agonized whispers. As he catches sight of me, his brow creases and he drops the gun, running back to me. My perspective is reversed from all those years ago- it's him running as fast as he can to save me, instead of me saving him.

He rolls me over, and I'm moaning in pain as he props me up on his knees, one arm supporting my head as blood soaks everything around me, spilling out of my mouth and my chest, my back and coating my uniform.

"Don't die on me, Prussia! Don't die! I don't know what's happening, but you can't die! You're my Brother!"

I look up at him, struggling to focus on his face. My breathing is labored and rasping, causing me to cough up blood before I can speak. "Ludwig you are my Brother I I meant to tell you before that you were my precious Roma and-" Fire sears through me once again as I let out another cough, blood running down my chin and neck. "I crossed my heart"

Then it was just black.

Germany's sharp blue eyes watched as Prussia's hand slipped from his chest, bloodied and hitting the ground with a lifeless thump. It it seemed so familiar

Life came back in a flash; all of the fights and all of the tears, all of the hugs and all of the words spoken, all of the books and all of the high fives, all of the promises and all of the games but mostly all of the times that Gilbert had crossed his heart and promised to protect him until the day he died.

Hot tears filled Ludwig's eyes- he wasn't just Ludwig; he was Gilbert's precious Ludwig Severin Beilschmidt. He'd died once before, when Gilbert could do nothing about it. And here he was, Gilbert's promise finally fulfilled.

He'd protected Ludwig until the day he died. Germany's breath came in short, panicked gasps. He shook his Brother's body once, twice. To no avail. Prussia was dead. He lifted his face to the skies and screamed, one image lingering in his mind.

_Gilbert Beilschmidt stood in front of heaven's gates, lifted his hand, and, with a smile, crossed his heart._


End file.
